I used to pray the serenity prayer...

I used to pray the serenity prayer constantly.  I was dissatisfied with life and felt like I had a lot to change about myself.  I tried to take control and put my nose to grindstone.  I rarely was successful.  So I prayed.  I prayed, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”  However serenity remained elusive.  I was always stressed out and frustrated. 

Today however, I was praying at the Midway Airport chapel just before I returned to Ghana to begin my two years of Peace Corps service and realized the serenity prayer didn’t make sense anymore in my life.  I’m so happy and at peace!  I’ve found some serenity.  There is very little that I want to change about my life, how I’m sending my time, and who I’m spending it with.  I acknowledge that some of the changes that I desired a few years ago have come about and that has increased my peace and satisfaction in life.  However as I contemplate what else is going on in my life I realize that my focus of life has changed as well.  I believe that change of focus has been as important to my pursuit of happiness as some of the other more tangible changes I’ve made.  There is very little planning, worrying, or goal setting happening in my life right now.  I’m living present to the moment and grounded in the now, not the tomorrow, next week, or next year.  I’m simply enjoying the ride and facing obstacles and challenges as they come.  There are very few crises and mass confusion too because by living only in the present moment I am fully aware and able to address whatever is happening in the seconds that are going by.  Tomorrow cannot be dealt with today and that took a long time to learn.

A friend also helped me realize that already my time in Ghana has contributed to this change within me.  So much of my life is different here, from the littlest detail of eating with my hands, to big structural things like not having utilities of water, electricity, gas, or sewerage.  Most of these changes in lifestyle are small obstacles and they are occurring every minute of every day.  They were very noticeable and sometimes jarring, at least they were for the first few months here as you acculturate and become accustom to them.  However, rather than seeing them as challenges and letting them overwhelm me which I would have done in the past, I took them up one at a time, slowly in each moment of the day, and just remained as present to each one as I could.  This new style of living by just doing what I could in the moment, enjoying the moment, and celebrating it has consumed me and become a persistent and consistent way of being. So the serenity prayer doesn’t really make sense in Ghana because I’m not going to change any of the Ghanaian lifestyle, systems, or culture while I’m here, I just need to live in it moment by moment. 

I used to pray the serenity prayer and live in anticipation of the next minute, hour, or year; however, now I pray in gratitude for the now, for the awesomeness of living in Ghana, and the serenity that washes over me when I stay humble, present, and open.  Thank you Lord for this change within me and thank you for now.